Shipping: Haruto x L-Elf (Kakumeiki Valvrave)
Posted by Frog-kun
Screw that love triangle bullshit. L-Elf is mai waifu.
I actually don’t know whether I’m joking with this post or not. Valvrave is yet another in a long list of Sunrise mecha shows where somehow things are more awesome when they focus on the homoerotic love/hate relationship between the two lead males. I didn’t realise how much I missed Haruto and L-Elf’s obvious flirting with each other until I watched the latest two episodes and felt the sour, sour taste of NTR in my mouth. The whole “rape” controversy is basically just an excuse for some general soap opera bullshit, and I do not like to see Saki taking Haruto away from the man who loves him most. Yeah, I don’t care about Shouko either.
So I’m coming out of the closet now to say that Haruto x Eru-Erufu is the OTP of this show and I will punch anyone in the balls who dares claim otherwise. I’m not a yaoi fangirl, so I don’t want to see them make out or commit sodomy or anything, but I am totally okay with gay subtext in my Japanese cartoons. Well, at least in this Japanese cartoon. I miss you, Eru-Erufu, where have you been?
L-Elf is the Coffee to Haruto’s Sugar
This is really deep symbolism, y’know. L-Elf is the badass. He is a badass because he is good at fighting, but he is also a badass because he plans out his badass feats well in advance. Take note, all you wannabe badasses. This is how you do it. You actually write out a list of things you want to achieve, rank them in the order of priority, allocate time to each activity, and then you go out and kill a 5000-man army. Then you will be like L-Elf.
Haruto, meanwhile, is the idealist, the dreamer, the pure pure boy. (Well, not so much from episode 10, but that was hardly his fault.) He rushes into things head-on. He’s got the heart but no brains. L-Elf is the one who channels his energies into worthwhile activities.
Haruto and L-Elf should get married. When they get married, L-Elf will be the one who sensibly has control of the family budget. This means they will have minimal arguments about how they have no money and therefore can’t have nice things. They will always be having nice things when they are together. L-Elf infuses good old common sense with Haruto’s unworldliness. And while Haruto works at his boring old 9-to-5 job, in the evening, he returns home to find L-Elf cooking dinner for him in a naked apron. Wait what?
They Have Already Made It To First Base
Saki wasn’t Haruto’s First Time. L-Elf was. They were sharing bodily fluids long before Saki was in the picture.
By the laws of anime romance logic, this means L-Elf and Haruto were engaged from the moment they met. They will get married at the end of the series. Mark my very words.
In any case, I actually think there’s a kind of amusing vibe to their relationship, seeing that the two of them have completely ignored the physical part of their relationship. It’s just one of those “yeah, gotta get it over with” kind of things. I get the feeling L-Elf finds Haruto to be a very entertaining person to watch because he is full of surprises. He’s shown little interest in anyone else, really. This means that there is a whole world of opportunities that L-Elf and Haruto can explore together.
“What could be beyond 666?”
Seme or Uke?
I’m actually a little bit confused about who would be on top and who would be on bottom here. I know it’s not something I should be thinking about too hard, but the question actually does pique my curiosity somewhat. My guess is that L-Elf would be on top because he’s very commandeering and Haruto’s personality screams of being a massive M. BUT – if Haruto’s vampire side takes over, Haruto is obviously on top. Maybe they regularly switch sides?
I’m welcome for some more, uh, veteran yaoi fans to clarify this for me. Otherwise, I don’t think I’m gonna get any sleep over this. WHO’S THE ONE DOING THE DICKING? I HAVE TO KNOOOOOOW.
Ugh, I can’t believe I just typed this whole post up and people all over the Internet will be googling Haruto x L-Elf yaoi porn and finding this and reading it. They’re gonna think I’m a sublime idiot, just like the show is!
Oh well, yaoi fan or not, you’re gonna have to agree that L-Elf is what makes this merry world go round.
Posted on June 22, 2013, in Funny Anime Stuff, Pairings and Shipping and tagged ERU-ERUFUUUUU, froggy is a fujoshi on the inside, harutoxl-elf, kakumeiki valvrave, this is memetastic, twilight sucks, what gay sluts. Bookmark the permalink. 35 Comments.