We now live in a world where Donald Trump has been elected President of the United States. This is deeply concerning to me, and I have been spending the last few days agonising about the future of this planet. But that is not the only worry I have had on my mind.
I’ve been thinking about Goku’s sex life.
How does a guy like him have kids? Does he even know what sex is?? How on earth did Chichi convince him to get down and dirty with her???
So many mysteries…
My confusion only deepened when, in episode 60 of Dragon Ball Super, the following exchange happened:
At first glance, not only does this make no sense, it also contradicts a scene in Dragon Ball Z where it’s implied that Goku kisses Chichi. (Outside the camera’s view, but whatever.)
The joke makes a bit more sense when you consider the context. Basically, this Reddit comment sums it up:
But still, the idea that GOKU HAS NEVER KISSED CHICHI EVER still persists, and the number one reason for that is because… it seems vaguely plausible…
Goku is completely socially inept. He didn’t know what “marriage” was when he got together with Chichi. How he went from “Marriage? What kind of food is that?” to having a son within a year is mind-boggling to think about.
(Seriously. Goku and Chichi got married straight after the end of the original Dragon Ball series. Dragon Ball Z is set five years after, and Gohan is already four years old.)
Toriyama is obviously aware that Goku having a kid doesn’t match his image at all. That’s why it’s played for laughs at first. Even Goku’s friends cannot believe it when they first see Gohan. The fact that Goku is so nonchalant about it is what makes the whole thing even funnier.
But this also means that the audience is left to figure out how Goku got from A to B. At this point, you just gotta assume he figured the whole sex thing out. Considering how he was initially so utterly clueless that he didn’t know how to tell men and women apart except by touching their genitals, that’s a lot of character development that happened off-screen.
The thing is, though, Goku doesn’t change in any other way. He’s still as pure-hearted and naive as ever. And despite becoming a father, Goku never acts particularly romantic towards his wife. He’s usually thinking about fighting, and even during peaceful times he’s just generally obtuse. So it’s no surprise that when Dragon Ball Super makes out that he and Chichi don’t kiss, it actually does throw the audience for a loop. I mean, can you imagine them kissing?
Yeah, I know, this is a shonen anime and all, but god damn it, the relationships in Dragon Ball deserved way more explanation than they actually got. It’s one thing to let the audience connect the dots for themselves, but what the series actually provided on-screen made no sense whatsoever. Don’t even get me started on Vegeta and Bulma…