In this post, Kirino and Kuroneko from OreImo will be dissecting a couple of the latest season’s anime offerings for your reading pleasure. There will also be guest appearances from Kyousuke before he turned into an otaku. You don’t need to have watched OreImo to understand this post because the characters won’t actually be talking about that anime. (But yes, it is the Best Anime in my totally unbiased opinion.)
After reading their opinions on this current season of anime and their most anticipated title for next season, it’s up to your expert opinion to decide: Between me, Kirino, Kuroneko and Kyousuke, who has the shittiest taste in anime?
The answer is in your hands. Vote on the poll in this post!
Q. Introduce yourselves to the readers and tell us your favourite anime.
Kirino: Hi! I’m Kirino! I really, really love Stardust Witch Meruru! Eeek! I could just die of the moe whenever Meruru-chan comes onscreen!
Kuroneko: I am the Queen of Darkness. My handle name is Kuroneko. My favourite anime is Maschera: Lament of a Fallen Beast. It is a work of superior quality.
Kirino: Huh, that lame chuunibyou anime. I’ll never understand why you like it so much.
Kuroneko: You simply don’t understand objective tastes.
Kirino: Objective tastes? I’ve never heard of such crap in my life. How can taste ever be objective?
Kuroneko: It is when you like the definitive best anime.
Kirino: We’ll see about that, you stupid cat.
Q. What was Kirino’s favourite anime of Spring 2013?
Kirino: Oh, it was definitely Date a Live! I’m so happy it got an anime! I’ve been a fan of the light novels since forever!
Kuroneko: That trash, huh?
Kirino: What did you say?!
Kuroneko: Give me a break. A high school boy saves the world by dating girls? That’s such an awful premise I’d call it terribad.
Kirino: I don’t know how you’d call that terribad! It’s clever and well thought out, especially how each girl has their own unique power. My favourite girl is Kotori-chan~
Kuroneko: The hero’s little sister? Hmmm?
Kirino: Kotori-chan is so cute! I love how she has her commander mode and her imouto mode. She’s really cool when she gets serious!
Kuroneko: I see.
Kirino: Is that all you have to say? Ugh! You have no appreciation for moe.
Kuroneko: I have no appreciation for thinly veiled otaku fetishes designed to look as if they are human.
Kirino: I bet all you did was watch the preair video on Nico Nico and get turned off by the streaming quality.
Kuroneko: And if I did?
Kirino: Well, then, you’re just shallow! How could you judge a story based on just its video quality?
Kuroneko: It’s simple. I wasn’t judging the video quality. The story itself was hollow and meaningless.
Kirino: Huh? No way!
Kuroneko: The entire plot is just an excuse to have cute girls fall into the hero’s lap. I suppose it would be all right if the hero actually had a personality, but he doesn’t. He’s Generic Lead Character #472953.
Kirino: No way! He’s like-!
Kirino suddenly stops, blushing and looking very angry.
Kirino: Nothing! Shut up! Date a Live is the best, okay?!
Kuroneko: Hmph. Whatever.
Q. What was Kuroneko’s favourite anime of Spring 2013?
Kuroneko: There is no doubt that Karneval is supreme.
Kirino: Karneval is shit!
Kirino: I’m just laughing! All that pompous “Your favourite anime sucks!” stuff you said to me, and you like a show that’s basically nothing but pretty boys and yaoi shipping?
Kuroneko: You have no understanding of the deep and meaningful nature of the setting.
Kirino: Deep and meaningful my foot! The story is all over the place!
Kuroneko: I admit that Manglobe has done a poor job adapting the manga. The manga is better.
Kirino: You know, I hate that. Why do manga readers always have to bitch and moan and go on about how the manga is always better than the anime just because someone points out that the anime is crap? If the anime sucks, maybe the story just sucks!
Kuroneko: I don’t know what you are talking about. A series should be judged on its total mythos. If you didn’t understand the story from the anime, you can’t complain unless you read the manga and all the supplementary materials.
Kirino: Whaaaat? That’s so incorrect! I don’t want to read a guidebook just so I can understand what’s going on! I had to keep looking up the names of the characters on Wikipedia and I still didn’t get any of this Varuga and Circus stuff they were going on about. In the end, I just quit after episode 2!
Kuroneko: What a narrow-minded simpleton you are. You made no effort to understand Gareki and Karoku’s motivations. They’re very complex characters.
Kirino: I just didn’t care. Period.
Kuroneko: Hmph. You have such deplorable taste.
Kirino: I reckon it’s just your taste that sucks, you chuunibyou!
Kuroneko: … Let’s take this outside.
Kyousuke: Why are they always arguing?
Q. What was Kyousuke’s favourite anime of Spring 2013?
Kirino: No one cares about his opinion.
Kyousuke: That’s so mean!
Kirino: Hmph. He doesn’t even watch anime, anyway.
Kyousuke: I watch Attack on Titans when it’s on TV.
Kirino: Attack on Titans? Ha! That barely even counts as anime! I don’t know how you could like something with such hideous designs.
Kuroneko: I agree. Attack on Titans is just a show for casuals.
Kyousuke: So, wait, you’re rejecting an anime just because it’s mainstream?
Kirino: More like the whole thing takes itself way too seriously.
Kuroneko: Not to mention the pacing is horribly slow for an action series.
Kirino: Ugh, it just sucks. The only thing that’s good about this series is the parody videos of the OP on Youtube.
Kuroneko: Agreed. Next!
Kyousuke: They’re united in their hatred… I don’t know whether to feel relieved or offended by this…
Q. What is your most anticipated anime for next season?
Kirino: I’m really looking forward to the new Milky Holmes series! I was a huge fan of the OVA series!
Kuroneko: The OVAs sucked. The only good thing about Milky Holmes was how the TV series was a parody of all your inane magical girl clichés. Even then, it was rather annoying. The OVAs played it straight and were downright boring for it.
Kirino: I don’t care about your hipster opinions. The true canon of the Milky Holmes universe is the OVAs, duh! And what are you saying? Magical girl stuff is cute!
Kuroneko: Hmph, if that is what you say. I, for one, am looking forward to Makai Ouji: Devils and Realist.
Kirino: More of that fujoshi bait, huh… I can’t tell if the people on the cover are men or women.
Kuroneko: Of course they’re men. And none of them are homosexual. Fangirls simply have very active imaginations.
Kirino: Well, no offence, but I’d rather look at cute girls than some lame pretty boys.
Kuroneko: If cute girls is all it takes for you to watch something, I have to wonder what artistic merit you see in anime.
Kirino: What a pretentious way of looking at things! Anime exists so you can have fun watching it, obviously!
Kuroneko: It’s not possible to have fun when I’m watching a reiteration of bad storytelling and clichés that were never any good from the beginning.
Kirino: Now you’re just assuming that all magical girl anime has bad storytelling just because it has moe or a harem. That’s what I’d call narrow-minded!
Kyousuke: C-Calm down, it’s just a cartoon.
Kirino and Kuroneko: Just a cartoon?!
After glaring at each other for a few more seconds, Kirino and Kuroneko shrug scornfully and sit back down. There is an awkward silence for a moment.
Kuroneko: Personally, what I’m really looking forward to is the Fall season. That’s usually better than the Summer.
Kirino: What, is there something in particular you want to see?
Kuroneko: I’m very much looking forward to the third Madoka film to complete the trilogy.
Kirino: Omigosh! So am I! It’ll be so amazing!
They both turn away.
Kyousuke: What’s with that reaction?
It appears Kirino and Kuroneko have finally come across an anime that they both like.
Kyousuke: That’s not something to get so upset over!
Note: I couldn’t fit this into the script, but Kyousuke’s most anticipated series for next season is Blood Lad because he sometimes reads the manga when he’s bored at school.
And in case you’re curious, my favourite non-sequel anime this season was OreGairu and my most anticipated anime next season is High School DxD NEW.
So now it’s time for you to vote and share your thoughts, dear readers. Who here has displayed the shittiest taste in anime? ;D
Feel free to leave a comment explaining your reasoning.