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The Demon Lord Steals Christmas

Because Froggy is away in the Philippines, twelve guest writers will be blogging about anime and/or Christmas. Today’s guest writer is Ashiya Shirou from Hataraku Maou-sama!, a former demon general who currently works as a house husband in Tokyo.

Greetings. My name is Ashiya, loyal retainer of the Demon Lord Maou.

I have been contacted by Sir Froggy, who has requested for me to write about my experience with Christmas on Earth. I am not very familiar with this blog ‘Fantastic Memes’ or with the nature of its content, so I am afraid I may not be able to spin an appealing tale for its readers. Nevertheless, I have obliged to write a guest post, for Sir Froggy has offered to foot my electricity bill and for that reason I will forever be in that noble amphibian’s debt.

I am not very knowledgeable about this concept of ‘Christmas’. From what I have read in newspapers and literature, it appears that in this country it is primarily a day when lovers spend time together. As my lord Maou and I are bachelors, I must confess that neither of us were particularly interested in this custom. Nevertheless, as I pen these words, Christmas is a mere ten days away and I have found myself eagerly making plans.

For example, I would like to meet Santa Claus. I have talked this matter over with my lord and we both agree that Santa Claus must be a man with powers worth reckoning. A human who possesses the ability to grant reindeer flight and to climb down chimneys in spite of his considerable girth seems to me as if he possesses attributes quite unlike that of a normal human. In fact, he may even rival my lord Maou in his demon form.

Naturally, this fact is of keen interest to my master. To put it simply, I fear that he will not be able to conquer the world if he does not defeat Santa Claus in combat.

I hope that it will not come to that. Hopefully, Santa Claus can be coerced. His flying reindeer will be of great assistance when we extend our operations outside of Japan. Now, cunning and knowledge of one’s enemy can be of greater use than sheer force in securing territorial gains. I suggest that because Santa Claus appears to love food from his round appearance that we can bribe him with one of the special burger meal deals at MgRonald’s. My master has already used his connections to secure the burger meal deal in question. Now the matter at hand is to lay our trap for Santa Claus.

At least, that was how I thought it would proceed.

To be honest, my lord has not shown any interest in negotiating with Santa Claus. In fact, he tells me that he is simply not ready this year and has been working overtime to cover for some unexpected expenses that have come our way.

Thus, instead of fighting Santa Claus, he has decided we will leave cookies and milk for him on the bench on Christmas Eve. This will convey our friendly intentions. And then, if we are good, Santa Claus will surely leave a peace gift for us.

This year, that is all we need to survive. My master and I will slowly amass the resources we need before we can hope to control the world. I have come to think that this is a wise course of action indeed.

I hope Santa Claus will give me a present this year.

Maou sama Ashiya

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Posted on December 15, 2013, in Posts Written By Anime Characters and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Hahahhahahah this is great!
    Definitely a good representation of what would really happen…I guess this comes with years of fan fiction writing :P
    Speaking of which, I loved the reference in your imouto story :D

  2. Urushihara-san wants the computer back.

  3. Urushihara Hanzou

    I’m on it now. That Ashiya is completely brain-dead with computers – I had to help him press the publish button.

    Cool blog, by the way. Needs more negativity, though,

  4. I wish Ashiya and Sado well in their plans for world domination. Perhaps they can conspire with Santa Claus to offer a toy deal for MgRonald’s upcoming Happy Meals campaign? :)

  5. +1000 internets to this post

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