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I’m Sorry, and Happy New Year

love live inspire

I’m sorry.

That’s how I want to begin this post, because whenever I think about my blog, I just want to apologise. I’m sorry for not updating, I’m sorry for not doing the 12 days of anime, I’m sorry for just reposting old articles instead of writing anything new.

The truth is, I’m pretty burnt out on writing. I think that’s the natural state you get to when you do it for a living. Unpaid writing just feels like kind of a chore now, even when it’s for my own blog.

I spent my New Year’s Day working around the clock. So right now I’m tired and sick of staring at a computer screen, and that’s more or less how I feel every night these days.

I can’t write on my blog the way I used to.

Despite that, I do want to keep this blog alive. In fact, I paid real money the other day to keep the frogkun.com domain.

Even if I can’t write regularly anymore, I do still want to have a space where I can talk about personal feelings or random observations that I can’t publish anywhere else. Even if I only end up posting once every three months or so, I do still want this space. I hope you can bear with me.

Let’s start with a subject that should be fresh in many people’s minds: the New Year.

I started 2017 feeling lost and afraid. I’d just been rejected from the JET program (without an interview, even) and was feeling like I’d never find a job out of university. If I never got my current job at Anime News Network, I’m not sure what I’d be doing at the moment. My guess is that I’d have gone back to university in an attempt to delay the inevitable realisation of my chronic uselessness.

love live sad

I began 2018 the opposite way. I woke up with a distinct purpose in mind. Today I went to the local shrine and prayed that my new project will work out well. I can’t talk about it yet, but it’s very exciting. It means that I won’t have much free time until at least March, but I’m committed to seeing it through.

I’m still afraid. I’m afraid of undoing all the achievements I made last year. I’m afraid of things going wrong.

I literally threw five yen into the offering box and prayed: “I hope I don’t fuck things up.”

It is maybe not an optimistic way to start the new year, but I spent all of last year worrying about worst case scenarios and stressing myself half to death. Only a day has passed since 2017, and I haven’t changed one bit.

Somehow, I managed to successfully move out of my parents’ house, settle into a new country and start my first real job, and I did it while hating myself profoundly. (Read this twitter thread for more details.)

In the end, I think that what I did was pretty cool. I can give myself that much credit.

So I think that I will be okay in 2018. I’m a stronger person than I thought I was. I’ve come to the conclusion that being able to survive with stress and self-loathing is a huge, huge achievement and I’m in awe of everyone who does it.

I hope that everyone reading this post can pat themselves on the back too for something.

love live sunshine

Happy New Year! Let’s keep up the good work!

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Posted on January 1, 2018, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. What you accomplished last year is incredible, let’s have a great 2018!

  2. Happy New Year! Keep up the good work.

  3. proud of you, froggy. keeping you in my thoughts!

  4. Happy new year to you too, and apology accepted!

  5. There is absolutely nothing to be sorry for! It’s been amazing following your progress and work throughout the year, and you’ve accomplished so much… Moving out, settling in a foreign country, and working and living your life: these are not paltry accomplishments…

    Wishing you lots of luck and happiness in 2018!

  6. Thank you for keeping the domain alive, sometimes I just randomly wade through old articles in search of inspiration, consolation or whatever. It’s like one of those little things that keep me going.

    This, and best wishes for 2018! Stay strong, and live it to the fullest.

  7. Hi Bro! I am wishing you all the best and I am happy that you are living the life you wanted for yourself. (Well, despite all the inevitable stress in this so called life.)

    But yeah, I know Yato heard your prayers.

    Good luck and Happy New Year 😊

  8. I don’t even have your excuse of writing for a living and I never get anything productive done with my blog. You have nothing to apologize for.

    Happy New Year and good luck with your new project.

  9. As an aspiring Jet, I know how hard it is to enrol. The fact you moved on from this is inspiring- keep it up! :D
    Happy New Year :D

  10. I’m happy for you! I stress out a lot too and because of that pimples are showing up. I hope I’ll be more positive in 2018, and I hope you’ll archive your goals too!

  11. Hey Froggy, I know a lot of other comments have already said things that I wanted to say, But I’d still like to add that I feel proud of what you’ve been doing. You’re absolutely both amazing and inspiring, for following your dreams despite negative feedback from others–even yourself. I’m hoping this year, you can go much farther.

    Happy New Year and good luck ^^

  12. Happy New Year to you as well! It might sound a little strange since we’ve never actually met, but I really am rooting for you and wishing you all the best, both in regards to whatever blog/writing projects you may have up your sleeve as well as to whatever goes on IRL. May 2018 be an excellent year. :)

  13. Ah, how could I have missed this?

    I hope that the new year is treating you well now that we’re in the middle of January, saw that you’ve got some new show review work to do so this makes me happy.

    Good luck with the future and may it bring interesting and positive things to you!

  14. Hell, I wish I have half the courage you have. I’m always scared to step into new ground, but that’s probably why my life is always so shit and I still see no light at the end of the tunnel. Glad to see you’re doing well though and a belated happy new year to you as well.

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