February 2018 Update: Time For a Change
Moving house is a pain in the butt. This is true no matter which country you’re in. This month, I moved house to west Tokyo. I really like where I’m living now because I’m within cycling distance of most of the anime studios in Tokyo. But moving to a new house was actually way more stressful for me than moving to Japan in the first place, mainly because it was my first time going through a Japanese real estate agent, buying my own furniture and setting up gas and electricity and whatnot. So in a way, this past month has felt like I’m finally moving into Japan for real.
I also happened to meet my fellow ANN Tokyo Correspondent for the first time last January, and this was the first month where we ate out together after going to an assignment. Since ANN is an international organisation where most of its members work remotely, I don’t often experience that feeling of socialising with my colleagues. My life has been all over the place in these past few months, but now I’m starting to feel like I’m settling into my job. It’s a nice feeling.
At the same time, I think it’s time for a change.
If the last few months have taught me anything, it’s that I’m tragically bad at handling stress. I may seem like I’ve got my act together in public, but I scream and punch things when I’m alone.
It didn’t help that I experienced my first real dose of internet harassment this month. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have gotten off so lightly, considering that my work is now quite visible. But maybe it’s because I’ve been so lucky that I was completely unprepared about being called a pedophile after my interview with the The Ryuo’s Work is Never Done! author was published. What hit me in the gut was seeing people I considered friends on Twitter apparently agreeing with these accusations against me, all because I didn’t grill the author hard enough in my interview.
I was so shocked and depressed that I didn’t get out of bed until after midday, even though I was supposed to go to an event that day. When I finally arrived at the event, it was just about to end. I was at a complete loss about how to write about it afterward. I blamed myself for being so incompetent. This culminated in me becoming so stressed that I started crying in frustration after I got home.
Long story short: Don’t harass people or call them pedophiles without proof because you’re almost guaranteed to shit on their day and affect their productivity.
At least that whole incident ended up working out in the end. I ended up writing that event report, even if it wasn’t as detailed as I would have liked. But I do wish I was better at keeping my composure. More than internet drama, my obsessive attention to detail and perfectionism has been crippling.
After all, the main reason why I got so stressed about writing that event report was because I kept thinking that if I couldn’t write a good report then I shouldn’t write a report at all. You see, I normally research every event and anime that I write about. For example, I even read the Violet Evergarden novels in preparation for reviewing the anime. So when I didn’t put in the appropriate time and research, I became reluctant to write anything at all. Canipa eventually convinced me that writing something is always better than nothing, but I put up a lot of resistance at first.
In the end, I doubt that many people read that report, but if you did read it, perhaps you can appreciate the feeling that went behind it.
In light of that experience, I want to be less of a perfectionist. Of course, I still want to strive to produce good work, but that’s very different from the “all or nothing” approach I’ve been taking so far.
At any rate, writing all of this down has made me feel better. I know that nobody’s expecting me to be perfect. This is all much easier to say than do, but I’ll try to stop stressing about things that don’t matter in the scheme of things.
Next month, my goal is to take it easy and have fun!
Before I go, here’s a list of the other articles I wrote this month. I’ll be making a habit of this, if only to keep track of my writing.
I also helped a bit with articles that my co-workers wrote. Recovery of an MMO Junkie Director Causes Controversy With Anti-Semitic Tweets, for example, was mainly written by members of the Interest team, but pretty much the entire ANN staff got together and contributed ideas about how best to frame that article in the most respectful way.
Occasionally, I help out with the news reporting too. For example, the news articles Sword Art Online: Alicization Anime to Cover Entire Alicization Arc and Tomori Kusunoki Performs Ending Theme for Sword Art Online: Alternative Gun Gale Online Anime were written by my colleagues, but I relayed the information from the stage show where those announcements were made. I was also physically present at Wonder Fest when the new Danmachi and Goblin Slayer anime were announced, but my colleagues handled the news reporting. I just watched on in awe at how quickly and efficiently those articles were constructed.
Unfortunately, I was too busy to write any articles for Crunchyroll this month… maybe next month. That’s all for now!